


Xylophones, My Love

by jetredgirl



Series: Labyinth LFFL inspired one shots and challenges [1]
Category: Labyrinth (1986)
Genre: Crack, F/M, Fluff, Humor, silliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-02
Updated: 2019-10-02
Packaged: 2020-11-22 05:09:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20868710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jetredgirl/pseuds/jetredgirl
Summary: When you're playing the alphabet game using Labyrinth fanfics, and realize none begin with an X.So this happened, and the Goblin All Xylophone Orchestra was born.





	Xylophones, My Love

"Sarah dear, why are you getting dressed up? I thought we were spending the evening in?" Jareth asked.

"My presence has been requested at a special concert tonight. The Goblin all xylophone orchestra is playing a selection of show tunes out in the square." Sarah answered while putting on lipstick.

Jareth cringed. "That sounds awful."

"Oh I'm sure it will be."

The Goblin King stood behind her, watching her turn from side to side, examining her makeup. "Then why in all the worlds are you attending? In fact, when did we get a Goblin all xylophone orchestra, and why?"

"Since the scribes deemed it necessary to have a story that began with an x." She leaned in and fixed her eyeliner.

"You're rather casual about this, and since when do we listen to the scribes?"

"If we leave them to themselves too long...well, they start to behave in unexpected ways, and... well, see they created this group on Facebook and..."

"I told you about spending time mucking about on Facebook. It will rot your brain." Jareth turned to walk away, then paused. "They formed a group?"

"Mmmhmm." The queen grabbed a brush and began to style her hair into a messy bun. "See for yourself, the computer is open."

He went to the computer and sat down, scrolling down the page. "They seem to be particularly focused on my..."

"Can you blame them? It's always, like, right there. Boom. Crotch. Not that I'm complaining. But don't look at the tags or you'll find..."

"WHAT THE FUCK IS A CROTCH HAMSTER!" Jareth jumped up. "I PROTEST! THERE ARE NO HAMSTERS IN MY PANTS EVER!:

"It's a joke J man. Chill out. They're just having a little fun. You know I know there are no actual hamsters down there. They know too."

Just then a horrible cacophony started, and it was coming from the vicinity of the castle square.

Jareth closed the computer and sighed. "Fucking damn it to Hades, Sarah, I've lost complete control of everything around here. The goblins, the scribes, all of it. Why xylophones of all things? Couldn't they have went with "X-rated" and just written smut?!"

Sarah slipped into her shoes and grabbed her wrap. She opened a drawer in her vanity and grabbed a pair of her oft needed pair of industrial strength earplugs and a pair for Jareth.

"Maybe next time. Here put these in, put on your pants, and lets go. A King's duties are never done."

"But..."

"Xylophones, my love. Suck it up."

The Goblin King's shoulders sagged. "Fine. But I'm having a serious talk with those scribes later."

"Understood."

He put on his pants, double checking for hamsters, stuck in the earplugs, and off they went.

Xylophone music, indeed it was. And it really was *awful*.

~fin~


End file.
